I suppose I just don’t want to see any more dead babies lying covered in mud in a ditch…

Earlier this morning the South American country of Chile was hit a devasting 8.8 earthquake fifty-six miles northeast of Conception at a depth of 22 miles at 3:34 am. The massive trembler shook the continent so ferociously that buildings not only shook in the capital city of Argentina, Buenos Aires, but also was felt 1,800 miles to the east of the epicenter in Sau Paulo, Brazil. So for the loss of lives has been reported to be at least 214 victims, and I’ve read it reported that over 400,000 homeless in and near the capital city. Of course, the total damage done by earthquake has yet to be calculated.

My heart raced, and yet my mind was not in the same place that it was the day I opened my browser and read about the massive destruction that had occurred over a month ago in the small country of Haiti. I was in the middle of designing an infographic, and the discussion of Haiti and Chile came up. I was candid enough to admit that I didn’t feel quite the same heart ache that I did the moment I took at look at an image of seven mud drenched babies laying naked and half clothed. My initial glance at the image came from reading a twitter feed, so the image was hosted on twitpic, and some insensitive coward had written,”Those dead nigger babies look delicious lol”.

I suppose comments like those, the revealing and shocking, manner in which the Haitian enforcement killed a man in front of a camera for feeding himself the only way possible, the manner in which the Haitian enforcers shot a little boy on camera for feeding himself the only possible, and just the total destruction of the last shining of example of Afrikan rebelion against the western supremacist left me numb.

I was told that I was heartless for differentiating, and that death is death.My immediate response, knowing that this woman knows me,”Do you think that I am heartless…?”

I was asked how I would feel if the babies were not Black, if they were hispanic. I cringed physically at the thought of seeing any baby of any ethnic group piled like a sardines on a dirty grove. However, I knew in my deepest love, in my sincerest mind, that I would never feel the way I felt the day I saw Haiti shake.

I felt numb reading my own words.

I realized how cold it must have seemed for me to be so biased about a human tragedy. I began to question my own sanity. I began to ask myself was I ignorant. How could I think and say and FEEL such things towards human life? I went for a walk in the windy night and allowed myself to feel free to express the emotions that had overcome me. I tried not to think about slavery. I tried not to think about jim crow. I tried not to think about the Senate smacking the American Black in the face when they apologized to the American Black for slavery and turn the fuck around and said we will not be giving any reparations though. I tried not to think about how it must have felt for those little babies to die. How it must have felt for all those babies who had to fight for weeks under rock and rubble. I tried my best to put myself out of my mind frame, out of my nationalistic love for a people who seem to be at war with God.

But I couldn’t.

And although much of this has been written in tears for those who are suffering in Chile. All of it was written in tears for those who died, and are suffering in Haiti.

“You think I’m heartless…?”

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